Dear 12-year-old me,
it’s September 1998 and it’s your first day of school after 3 months of holiday. For years you’ve seen the big girls returning from their vacays having been kissed by some guy named Carlos, showcasing beautiful longer hair, and displaying BIGGER boobs.
Ah, the boobs.
I know you’ve been looking forward to these three specific things to happen to you this summertime, and you are almost crying in disappointment cause none of them became a reality.
Specially the third one.
Yes, the guy who kissed you this summer was named Vicente and your hair is now long enough to reach your shoulders.
But what happened with the B part? What did go wrong? Did you have to exercise to make your ladies grow? Did puberty not treat you well? Why is everyone else in the class wearing a bra and you’re not? Specially Silvia! That bitch is pretty…
Girl, now let me tell you something I know now about breast size insecurity I wish I had known back then.
I’m 29 and bralettes, spaghetti strap tops and my belly after drinking too much beer are the kind of things that remind me that I have small boo..-ehm, breasts-.
Truth is, these two will never really develop. And for a while that will make you feel terribly sad.
But girl know, that all this self-conscious body insecurity thing that you are experimenting right now is always gonna be in your head and only there.
Yes, you can’t see it now, but nobody will ever give a shit about your breast size. On the contrary, you’ll get to know people who’ll compliment you for that. (Don’t roll up your eyes here, I married your husband from the future!). And that’s exactly what’s gonna start making you feel alright.
It’s 2015 now and I’m writing you from a place where body-shaming is being fought back; a future where your color, size, scars or sexuality are essential pieces of your persona and not something you’d like to vanish or feel ashamed for.
Yes, it’s a lucky future. However, until this moment I’ve had many difficulties accepting not only my breast size, but my entire sihouette, because of what I thought people’s opinions would be about. But it was precisely these kind of opinions what made me love myself in ways unimaginable.
Yeah sorry, I would have loved to confidently tell you that “you will be strong enough to accept your body without any additional help”. But in your particular case, you will need other eyes to see the things you can’t see with your own. And this isn’t a sign of weakness, this doesn’t make you vulnerable. You’ll grow your own strength from the love you’ll receive from others, and thanks to this, you will become the woman you want to be. So, me. Because nowadays I am exactly the way you are envisioning it.
Except for the boobs.
Nah, they won’t grow, no. But you’re 4 years away to discovering the wonders of the Push-up bra and trust me, that’s gonna be a real deal for you.
Also, Carlos will never really kiss you until you’re 18 and your hair will never get longer than the bra strap.
So brace yourself, hold on to your beautiful boobies, and head to school immediately. This year, and the following ones, are gonna be amazing.